


Fixing Us

by KyHasNoLife



Series: Maya and Carina Fics [16]
Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Marina Engame, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24083467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyHasNoLife/pseuds/KyHasNoLife
Summary: Some of Maya and Carina's couples therapy.
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Series: Maya and Carina Fics [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715209
Comments: 43
Kudos: 210





	1. Chapter 1.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sonluver91](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonluver91/gifts).



> Sonlover91 commented the prompt so thanks!

Carina agreed to try couples therapy. She wasn't sure at first. They hadn't been dating that long, they hadn't even said I love you yet, but under all the hurt and the anger, she did love Maya, and she did want to make it work. She didn't know what happened, but she knew something did, and it made Maya start going to therapy. Now, the blonde wanted to try couples therapy.

So, here she was, the therapist's office was a small room with a couch and a chair on one side and a desk on the other. Carina had walked in to see Maya sitting on the couch fidgeting with her fingers, and who she assumed was the therapist on the other side, sitting at the desk. "Ciao, Dr. Carina DeLuca," Carina stuck out her hand, and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Dr. Brooke Lane, but just call me Brooke," The woman stood up to shake her hand, Carina instantly noticed she was short. "Take a seat," the counselor said motioning to the couch and the chair on the other side of the room.

Carina instantly went to the chair, still not ready to be that close to Maya. "Hi," Maya said quietly. "Hi," Carina said, looking down, avoiding eye contact. "Okay, so let me just ask you guys a few questions," Brooke said, she grabbed a notebook from her desk before turning around to face them. "Now, Carina, I already know a little from what Maya has told me in our private sessions, but I am not allowed to say it or anything." Carina nodded, she started playing with the rings on her right hand, suddenly she was nervous. It hadn't occurred to her that she obviously already knew about her from her private sessions with Maya. "Are you currently seeing a separate therapist?"

"Si, I have, uh, OCD and depression, so I go to a therapist and psychiatrist."

"You do?" Maya asked, eyes wide from the couch. She didn't even know Carina had mental illness, let alone go to therapy.

"Yeah," Carina said, still fidgeting with her rings.

"What kind of OCD?"

"Symmetry and Orderliness." That made sense to Maya, Carina always kept stuff neat and organized, she didn't realize it was to such an extent, but she obviously didn't know as much as she thought she did.

"And since you see a psychiatrist, I'm guessing you treat it with medication?"

"Yes, this feels dumb, why is this important?"

"Just trying to understand your relationship a little better."

"Okay, are you guys sexually active?" Brooke asked, before quickly adding, "With each other."

"Yeah." "No." Maya and Carina said at the same time. Respectively. "We were until two weeks ago," Maya explained. "Right, when the incident happened." Carina scoffed, "That's what you call it? The 'incident.'" She did finger quotes while saying incident.

"Yes, would you call it something different?" Brooke asked with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah, I would call it a lot of different things."

"Okay, well, how about we get into those later, how often do you see each other right now, say how often over the past 2 weeks.

"Today's the first time we've seen each other since Jack."

Carina's body tensed at the mention of Jack's name, Maya noticed and looked at her hands. "Okay, why?" Brooke asked with a curious tone.

"She slept with someone else, I haven't exactly been in the mood to see her," Carina said, aggressively, still facing the short woman who was observing closely.

"We both needed-  _ need _ space Carina, I-"

"I would not need it if you just were faithful!" Carina cut her off, finally looking at her.

"I was frustrated, and I-"

"And you don't care enough about me to-"

"God, I care about you so much it hurts sometimes Car!"

"Questo è stupido (This is stupid)," Carina mumbled under her breath, and broke eye contact. She spoke quickly and quietly, so Maya didn't know what she said, she barely gathered it wasn't English.

"That's not fair! You can't just speak in Italian to avoid having a conversation!"

"I said, 'this is stupid,' beca-"

"Okay!" Brooke interrupted them. "How about you guys try having an actual conversation? You know, one of you says something, the other one listens, doesn't interrupt, and waits their turn to respond? One of those."

Maya nodded, "Car, do you want to start?" Carina shook her head no, and Maya sighed. "I'm sorry, I was upset, and I- I lashed out. I wanted to hurt you-" Carina opened her mouth to cut Maya off, but closed it, she was biting her tongue just to keep herself from speaking. "I was angry, and you were trying to get me to admit to something that wasn't- isn't true."

"Well, since you like to do everything right, I'll tell you, you succeeded in hurting me," Carina snapped at her before her phone started buzzing, "It is the hospital, I have to go, it was nice to meet you Dr. Lane." That's how their first couples therapy session ended.

The next one was a week later, Carina absolutely refused to talk about Jack in that one, changing the subject every time he was brought up. Brooke suggested they see each other at least once a week, so they decided to do the therapy sessions once a week, just so they always had a buffer, they could barely have a civilized conversation in counseling, so they didn't even try outside of it.

"When you ignore the fact Jack happened, I feel like you're deflecting!" Maya snapped back. They were on their 4th or 5th, and Carina had said something about how she felt when Maya ignored the way she felt. They were using the "When you... I feel..." format, but only because Brooke was making them.

"When you bring up Jack, I feel pissed, Maya! I do not want to talk about him, or think about him, yet it is one of the main things I do because I am always thinking about you, and thoughts about Jack always follow!"

"We have to talk about Jack eventually!"

"Dio mio (oh my God)! You think I don't know that?"

"You never let us talk about him so yeah kind of!"

"The moment that we talk about what happened, I am gonna say something I don't mean. If I say something I don't mean, you are gonna want to run! I don't want you to do that."

"I don't want to run!"

"Alright maybe we leave it here for today," Brooke said, looking up from her notes. "We still have 15 minutes left," Maya pointed out confused. "Oh yeah," Brooke started to chuckle, "Uh, you guys are about to start a conversation that will last a  _ lot _ longer than 15 minutes, so I say you just don't until next week."

"Can we meet at my apartment later?"

"What?" Carina laughed nervously.

"We're in a relationship, but I only see you here, we don't have to talk about anything big at my apartment, just let me make you dinner o-or something?" Maya started stammering at the end, suddenly nervous.

"I think that would be great for you guys," Brooke cut in, they both looked at Carina who bit her lip in thought. "Uhm, sure, I have a surgery at 5, it should be done at 7:30, so I can be at yours by 8:00. Maya smiled widely, it caused Carina to grin, she missed seeing the girl smile.

"No sex!" Brooke told them.

"I wasn't planning on it," Maya chuckled.

So that night, they had dinner, it was somewhat awkward, they talked about work, Carina was informed about Andy’s recent drama, she talked about her brother and how he was doing, Maya updated Carina on her brother, and then they finished eating and Carina left. The small talk was nice, the two that didn’t result in yelling was nice, but Carina wasn't sure how long the peace would last.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another session, and the time after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while, but after they got back together I got semi uninspired

Carina was scared for her appointment with Maya today. They were definitely going to talk about Jack and she didn't want to know what that could mean for them. Maya loved her not Jack, but that doesn't change the fact she slept with Jack to hurt her. What if in the future when they fight she runs back to Jack again. Carina wouldn't survive that. She wouldn't survive Maya hurting her again, not like that.

"Okay, so, Jack," Brooke started.

Carina looked at the floor. She wanted to avoid this conversation, Maya's countless apologies, Maya's sorry eyes, the beautiful blue eyes that she loved. Maya didn't want to start the conversation. Neither did Carina.

"Is anyone gonna start?" Brooke raised an eyebrow, and Carina sighed, but shook her head no. Maya breathed loudly, "I'm sorry, Carina. I-I made a mistake. People make mistakes, Carina!"

"M-mistake?!" Carina scoffed.

"Yes! A mistake!"

"No! A mistake is- is an accident! Y-you did it on purpose to hurt me!" Carina yelled causing Maya to look down in shame.

"I-I love you, Carina! I know that it's a terrible thing to tell you, especially now, when we're fighting, but it's true! I love you! I have never told someone that! Y-you tried to get me to admit to something I wasn't ready to admit to, and I was hurt, so I lashed out to hurt you, but I love you, and I'm sorry!"

"If you loved me you would not have slept with Jack!" Carina said back quickly, she was starting to cry, and she could see Maya was too.

"I love you so much it hurts, Carina," Maya said, her jaw shaking from trying not to cry or being terrified of what Carina will say next.

"I- URGH!" Carina groaned. "Y-you put me in like the worst spot possible b-because I love you a-and I want to be with you and love you, but am I just supposed to forget about Jack? Am I supposed to trust you?"

Maya let out a sob, "I-I- fuck, Carina, I-I don't know, but I'm okay spending every day trying to convince you to."

"D-dammit, Maya! I- I am still so mad at you!"

"I know! Carina! Don't you think I know that? I am trying so hard to make it better, but sometimes- sometimes it feels like you don't want it to be better! Or that you don't want to be here-"

"I don't want to be here! I- I want to forget about this! I want to pretend it never happened, but it did happen, Maya! So here am I, trying to fight for us!"

"If you don't want to be here, then leave!" Maya yelled at the girl who just scoffed in response and stood up.

"Carina, there's still another 40 minutes today, just sit back down," Brooke encouraged.

"N-No, I don't have to be here, I could be helping people- saving lives instead, I am working late today, so i could be here because it worked for you, Maya, so don't say I don't want it to be better- for us to be better," Carina sighed before leaving the room.

The day was going pretty well until  _ it _ happened. It being a patient dying. Her patient died. She had never lost a patient before.

_ Bella, I need you. I'm sorry about today. Can you just come over tonight? _

Carina sent the text quickly before she could change her mind, her phone dinged quickly after; a text from Maya

_ Sure, are you okay? What time? _

Carina read it and part of her felt relieved, sure they had fought earlier, but Maya was still there for her.

_ I will be. I just need to see you. _

_ Also, my shift ends at 9, so 9:15, 9:30 around then _

She was gonna be okay. Maya would be with her in a few hours, so she would be fine.

When Carina got home, she found her way to her bed and just broke down. Her patient died. It was like the full weight of that was finally hitting her. She wasn't able to save her. They came to her for help because arguably, she was the best. How does the best let her patient die?

Carina expected Maya to come and hold her. She expected the blonde to walk into her apartment and just sense something was wrong before coming to her room to hug her, but it never happened.

Carina started to text her at 9:50. She sent a few texts before curling into a ball and giving up around 11. Deep down, Carina knew she was being irrational, but she couldn't help, but think about the fact they fought today. Like actually fought. Last time they fought Maya slept with Jack. Was she doing it again right now? She seemed fine over text, but what if she was mad? What if she ran back to Jack again? Or even some stranger?

\-----------------

Maya lost track of time. After the terrible session, she went to the station to catch up on paperwork, and then Carina texted her, and she smiled like an idiot for a few minutes before getting back to her paperwork. She looked at the clock on her desk and mumbled a quick fuck.

She had completely lost track of time. It was almost 11, and Carina was expecting her. Now she probably thought she was being stood up. Maya grabbed her phone to send a quick text to the brunette, but it was dead.

_ Shit! _ Carina was gonna be pissed.

Maya walked into Carina's apartment at around 11:15. She instantly noticed how the apartment wasn't perfect and neat as always. It wasn't messy by any standards, but the doctor's shoes weren't where they usually were and her bag was thrown on the floor. Maya ran to the room to see Carina curled on the bed, soft sobs leaving her mouth.

"Carina," Maya sighed softly before running to the bed and starting to rub Carina's back, but the brunette violently jerked away.

"You're so late," Carina said through tears.

"I know, I'm sorr-"

"I needed you and you were two hours late."

"I'm sorry, Carina, I had to do something at work, and I-"

"Was something Jack?" Carina snapped passive aggressively, cutting the blond off.

"What? No, why would-"

"We got into a fight earlier, and last time we got into a fight you slept with Jack, and-"

"I wouldn't sleep with Jack. Carina, I meant it earlier when I said I love you. And when I said I will try every day to prove to you that you can love me too."

Maya tried to reach out to rub the girls back again but was surprised when Carina pulled Maya into a hug. She felt Carina move her head into the nook of her neck as she explained why the day was hard before crying some more. Eventually, her breathing evened out, and Maya noticed the soft snores coming from the girl. Maya didn't know whether to say or leave. What if Carina didn't want her there in the morning? Then, she remembered the text that started this.  _ I need you _ . Maya fell asleep not long after, still holding the doctor in her arms, and she couldn't wish to be anywhere else.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few more sessions!  
> I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really know where I am going with this fic right now, but I do plan to continue. This chapter was just a filler while I decide what to do.

“You slept together?”

“No! We didn’t have sex! You made that rule, no sex! We just went to sleep,” Maya explained again to Brooke.

Carina had been quiet, almost silent, the whole session. She also hadn’t really talked to Maya since the day it happened.

“Carina, I am sorry. I was rude last week and-” Maya tried to address her again.

“It’s fine.”

“Are you sure? You haven’t really talked a lot today,” Brooke pointed out. Carina sighed, “Yeah, I have been processing.”

“Processing what, exactly?”

“Losing my patient. They way the only person I wanted to be with was Maya despite being so, so angry at her.”

Carina was sitting on the floor today, she was hugging her knees which were pressed against her chest. Not where or how she usually sat, but who was Maya to judge?

“Carina, you’re scared,” Brooke observed before biting her lip in thought, “but why?”

“I had a breakdown. I let myself be vulnerable. I let Maya see me be vulnerable. She was two hours late, though, and we fought that day, and she said she didn’t but in the back of my mind I am still wondering if she was telling the truth about where she was,” Carina admitted.

“Carina, I told you, I- I will spend every day trying to prove to you that you can trust me again!”

“I want to forget. I want to forget, and I want to trust you again, but you- you-” Carina’s voice broke as silent tears started to stream down her face, “You hurt me on purpose.”

“I-I know, and I am so _so_ sorry,” Maya said, having a tear or two of her own running down her face.

“What do you guys think is the best thing moving forward for you too?” Brooke asked, Carina just shrugged and Maya wiped her face quickly.

“I, uh, I don’t know,” The blonde girl sighed sadly.

“Okay, well, I think you need to restart.”

“You think we forget?” Carina scoffed.

“No! No, you remember the mistakes made last time, and you keep coming to see me, and you move on. You go on a few dates, spend time together, refamiliarize yourselves with each other, and then go from there.”

“Okay, and the rules for sex areeee?” Maya inquired.

“None!” “Not yet.”

Carina and Brooke exclaimed at the same time respectively.

Maya looked down with a red face, but nodded.

They used the rest of the session to plan their date; Friday morning they were gonna get coffee after Maya’s shift and before Carina’s.

\-----------------

A week later, they sat together on the couch, they didn’t touch, but it felt like a big deal. 

“Coffee went well!” Carina exclaimed when Brooke asked. Coffee felt like it used to when they went on dates. Maya talked about work, about her dad. Carina listened and updated Maya about her brother.

“It did?” Brooke asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah, it did!” Maya answered.

“What did you guys talk about?”

“Work, family, stuff like that,” Carina answered with a smile.

“No Jack?” Brooke asked, and Carina’s happy face fell to a stern one.

“No. No, we didn’t, you said to move past it! T-“ Maya started before being cut off.

“I know, I was making sure, I think you two should still talk about it, but only if there’s a mediator. That being said, if you guys need to talk about it, just talk, even if I am not there. Be open and honest.”

The couple just nodded at the advice. Just talk about it.

Next session, they made rules. Who knew couples therapy would have so many rules? Who knew _relationships_ had so many rules? Not Maya.

Their rules were:

  1. **No sex**
  2. **Couples Therapy once a week**
  3. **A date no more than once a week (no, couples therapy does not count as a date)**
  4. **_No sex_**
  5. **Don’t cheat ( _again_ ).**
  6. **Be honest and loyal**
  7. **Trust each other**



Okay so there weren’t that many, but no sex was hard! For Maya, at least. No cheating and date once a week was easy, the rest, not so much. No sex is so difficult it’s there twice.

For Carina, the most difficult rules were trust each other and be honest.

She tried that with Maya before, but it ended up with her getting cheated on.

“Let’s talk about the rules. Carina, for you, which is the hardest?”

“Rule 6, trust each other, it’s hard Maya. I am trying, but-”

“But it’s hard. I made a mistake, and almost ruined us, so now I am going to fight like hell to get us back! Also that’s rule 7.”

“No sex does not need to be there twice!” Carina groaned annoyed. The debate on the rule had been going on all session.

“Carina, why is rule 7 the hardest?” Brooke asked, and Carina turned her attention from Maya to the therapist, “It’s not that she slept with Jack. It’s that I’m scared to fight with her. It’s the feeling that if we fight she’ll lash out and try to hurt me again.”

“Okay. Maya, which is the hardest rule for you?”

“W-wait we’re not gonna talk about that?” Maya asked confused and the therapist shook her head no, “we will later, now the hardest rule?”

“Being open and honest. It’s always been hard for me, and I know it’s important, but it’s difficult.”

“Okay, now, those are related. The key to trusting each other is being open and honest. You have to trust each other to be open and honest. It’s a delicate balance,” Brooke explained.

Brooke continued to explain and tell them what she thought about the rules, about both of their pasts and what she thought it meant for them. At the brief mention of her dad, Carina tensed up and Maya grabbed her hand. It was new and intimate and kind of scary for Maya, and she was shocked when Carina didn’t pull away, but squeezed her hand instead.


	4. Chapter 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tense date to a session!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Masom “For the next chapter of Fixing Us, I kinda do wanna read about Carina making out with Maya even though the rule was not to. ;) I love your writing!! I’m eagerly waiting for those!!”

Maya hadn’t expected their date this week to get to  _ this _ . Maya had cooked them dinner. It was nice, simple, quiet, relaxing. Carina had a rough day at work, and didn’t feel like dressing up so she cancelled, little did she know that 45 minutes later her girlfriend would show up with a bag of groceries and start cooking.

Now here they were, on Carina’s couch. Carina on top of Maya. One of Carina’s hands unbuttoning Maya’s jeans.

“W-wait,” Maya said, even though it pained her. Carina quickly pulled away, sat up, still straddling Maya and raised an eyebrow. 

“You want me to stop?” Carina asked with disbelief.

“N-no. No, I don’t, but no sex is one of the rules.”

“Screw the rules,” Carina mumbled as she leaned back down and started kissing Maya’s neck.

“Carina, stop,” Maya pushed the girl off of her before standing up.

“Maya!”

“I don’t want to have sex with you. It’s not because I’m not turned on by you because trust me I am! It’s because I don’t want this to get out of hand and for us to rush back into things too quickly!” Maya defended herself.

Carina sighed loudly and put her head in her hands.

“Car-” Maya sat up and reached out to cup the Italian’s face only for her to flinch away.

“Just go home, Maya,” The doctor sighed.

“So I’m not gonna have sex with you a-and what? You’re kicking me out?” Maya asked, this time she was the one asking with disbelief.

“We ate dinner, we had a nice night, I wanna go to sleep, so yeah.”

“You- you’re being unbelievable right now!” Maya scoffed as Carina stood up and walked to the front door of her apartment, holding it open.

“You can go now,” Carina tilted her head towards the door, gesturing for Maya to exit.

“Carina,” Maya sighed.

“I will talk to you tomorrow.”

Maya opened her mouth to say something, but just ended up closing it again before getting up and walking out of the apartment.

They hadn’t talked since. It had been three days and not a single text from either girl. They were currently in Dr. Lane’s office, they were sitting next to each other, silently, on the couch.

“I can sense some tension, what happened on your date?” Brooke tried to joke, but they just both looked at one another and neither said anything.

“That bad, huh?” The therapists continued to try to joke, but got no response.

“Carina had a rough day, so she tried to cancel it. I wanted to see her so I picked up some food and made us dinner.”

“Okay that sounds nice?” Brooke said, although it was more of a question than a statement.

“It was until we started arguing,” Carina said quietly.

“Arguing?” Maya scoffed, “That’s not what happened, you kicked me out because I didn’t want to have sex.”

“You have wanted to have sex the whole time! You always say that you hate the no sex rule, but the moment I’m ready to have sex again-”

“The rule is there for more than the reason that you weren’t ready!”

They went back and forth for a while as Brooke sat there watching, just listening to the argument.

“You had a bad day at work, and then all of the sudden you wanted to have sex! It felt like you were avoiding!”

“I wasn’t!”

“But it felt like you were!”

“BUT I WASN-”

“Okay, let’s quiet down and take a minute,” Brooke suggested, her eyes roaming from one of the girls to the other.

“Carina, why was your day bad?” Brooke inquired to get a sigh from the taller girl.

“I was off my meds for a few days because I could not get my prescription refilled right away, and then my dad called to tell me he is coming to town soon.”

“Car, why didn’t you tell me?” Maya’s face softened.

“It wasn’t- I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Carina, rule number 6 was be honest and rule 7 was trust each other, you broke both of those and tried to break rules 1 and 4 with sex,” Brooke pointed out.

“I am sorry I broke rules, but I feel like I can not be honest with Maya all the time.”

“Why not?” Brooke exclaimed. At the same time, Maya gasped, “What- Why?”

“Because I don’t want to hurt her feelings or bring up her past trauma.”

“You have to trust that Maya will tell you if she’s upset.”

“And that I’ll talk to you when I think about my dad!”

“I can’t, Maya! If I say something and then you start to think about your dad and I ask about it you’ll fuck someone else again!” Carina spit out. She wasn’t trying to be rude, but it’s how she felt.

Maya let out a sharp breath, “How many times do I have to say I won’t do it again, Car? I love you!”

“Why should I believe that?! Because you say it!? How do I know you aren’t just trying to get me back?!”

“Carina, I promise, I won’t do it again, and I will spend every day proving to you that I am yours. That I love you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just-“ The doctor cut herself off and took a deep breath.

“You’re still hurt,” Brook finished for her with a small smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m still hurt.”

“I’m still so sorry, Carina, I will always be so sorry. That doesn’t mean I’m not here for you though.”

The rest of the session went really well, they faked about Carina’s father’s visit and if Maya would meet him (the answer was yes, they were gonna go out to dinner with him).

That date rules were cut down, they were allowed to pick and choose dates and how many every week, but still no sex.

Maya felt like they had taken a million steps backs recently, but they had taken a million and one steps forward. They were moving forward… slowly, but they were doing it.


	5. Chapter 5.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A final session :)

Carina moaned as she felt herself being pushed up against the wall and a tongue shoving into her mouth. She felt Maya’s hands wrap around her thighs before she was picked up and pushed further up against the wall, she quickly wrapped her legs around Maya’s body before disconnecting their lips and bringing hers to Maya’s neck. She felt the blonde starting to walk them to the desk.

They hadn’t had sex yet. They weren’t allowed to have sex yet, but they found ways to bend the rules. The most they had done was makeout, but it was fun, it kind of made them feel like teenagers.

Over the last 3 weeks, they had gone on a lot of dates. Over the last week, they had seen each other and gone on dates pretty much every day. They couldn’t stay away from each other. They had made progress, they could talk, interact, they were honest and in love.

Right now, they were in Maya’s office. The office Maya had slept with Jack in. Carina pulled away at the realization and just looked at her girlfriend. She had come over and just had lunch with the team, then they were gonna go to therapy together. They had 15 minutes until they had to leave, which now, after Carina’s realization, felt like forever.

“Are you okay?” Maya asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Y-yeah, I am, but maybe, uhm, maybe no making out today. I don’t want to get carried away.”

Maya nodded before backing up and giving Carina room to get off the desk.

“Do you want- do you want to walk to therapy?” Carina asked hesitantly, she currently felt like she was suffocating, like the months of expensive therapy they had gone through recently, the improvements they had made all just disappeared.

“Uhm, sure, let me just go tell Andy she’s in charge for a while,” Maya answered before leaving the office.

Carina stayed in the office by herself for maybe 5 seconds before she couldn’t breathe, she quickly grabbed her bag and ran out of the office to the front desk before throwing up (luckily in the trash can).

“Are you okay?” Travis asked, eyes wide at the desk.

“Uhm, si, will you tell Maya I am outside when she comes back?” Carina didn’t wait for a response, she just walked outside mumbling a quiet thanks.

Maya came out a few minutes later with a furrowed eyebrow, “Travis said you threw up, are you okay? Do we have to cancel with Brooke?”

Carina wanted to nod and lie and say she was fine, but she needed to trust Maya. If they were gonna get through this she needed to trust Maya.

“I can’t be in your office.”

“What?”

“You slept with someone else. Not only did you sleep with someone else, you did it in your office. The thought of being in there, makes me literally vomit.”

“Oh… okay,” Maya said quietly. 

They started their walk, but didn’t talk. Like at all. It was an uncomfortable silence.

“Uhm, how about I come to visit your office next week for lunch instead of you coming to the station?” Maya suggested quietly once they were almost done with their walk. She wanted to prove to Carina that she wanted to do everything to make it right, even little things.

Carina nodded but didn’t say anything. Then, they sat together in silence until they were brought back to Brooke’s office.

They sat down together in silence, neither wanting to start. They felt Brooke observing them, also silent.

“He brought up you. He brought up you and he brought up my dad and I was mad. I wanted to shut him up and I wanted to beat him up, but I didn’t. I had sex with him instead. Then, I went home and I shoved it in your face to get you to leave. Then, I screamed at you and broke up with you. Then, I begged for you to take me back. I  _ begged _ for you to come to therapy with me. For some reason you said yes and I am so beyond grateful that you did and I am so sorry that you did.

I don’t expect you to want to come to my office again, Carina. I fucked up and the office is a permanent reminder of that, especially to you, but I love you Carina. I love you so much and I have been  _ terrible _ at showing it, but I am learning and trying. I promise you that,” Maya said randomly before anyone else could speak, by the time she finished saying it she was starting to tear up.

Carina didn’t say anything, just looked at Maya. That was the most detail she had gotten about the affair. She didn’t want any more. She wanted to forget. She wanted to forget and move on.

“I forgive you,” Carina whispered quietly.

“What?” Maya asked confused, making sure she had heard correctly.

“I forgive you, Maya. You made a mistake. I don’t want to stay hung up on this forever. I want us to move on. Obviously, we are not perfect again, but we will get there, we will move on. I want us to move on.”

Maya choked back a sob and nodded.

“Okay, so maybe we revise the rules,” Brooke interrupted the moment with a smile.

* * *

It had been a month since that session. They still went to therapy, but things were good.  _ They _ were good. Jack didn’t ruin them. They moved on. They were happy now. They managed to be happy again, and if Carina was being honest, she wasn’t sure if they would get here when they first started, but they did and she couldn’t be happier.

She was with the love of her life.

Her and Maya were together and in love and even though they made mistakes and they would continue to make mistakes in the future they were good and happy.

They were in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the final chapter. I hope the end was good and that you enjoyed it :)


End file.
